Talked to a friend of mine today

 She’s tripping cus she thinks she’s not enough

She thinks that people shouldn’t love her cus she’s to emotional and doesn’t have it all under control at all times

The thing is, she is emotional, far more than most, and neither she, nor I, are  always in control

but ever since we met about 4 years ago I haven’t been the same,  She is chaos and beauty and damage and growth and passion and kindness and goddam I dont know how to do her justice with these words

Seeing her struggle to love herself, it is so hard to watch, but it gives me hope I guess

Because if someone like her can struggle with self-worth, then I know for a fact,

An absolutely indisputable fact…

THE VOICE IN MY HEAD IS NOT BASED IN REALITY

Its like at work when somebody comes up to me and starts giving me unsolicited personal thoughts on some mild conspiracy theories. I kinda go with it, im like, “okay ya maybe this is legit”

But then they drop some shit about pizza-gate and the lizard people and at that point I realize that this conversation,

IS NOT BASED IN REALITY

My voices say I’m to broken and weak and fragile and incapable of anything

Amandas’ say that she’s damaged goods when really she’s a godam fresh amazon package full of paints and poly resin and leather journals

Kevin’s say that he wasn’t enough to keep his dad from drinking, so how could he ever be enough for anyone else, how could he ever care for his kid

Alaska’s say that she doesn’t deserve to be absolutely fucking cherished and held and kissed and treated like a queen (just because somewhere along the line she trusted some bad people and started to think that it’s her fault that they treated her like shit)

Danny’s voices say that he’s ugly and he’ll never be loved by a girl (even though he is certified poggers at/on guitar, has a heart of ethically mined diamond, sends the most offensive memes, and cares for me despite my seemingly endless baggage)

Seeing a common theme here?

The voices say that we are alone and “to broken” and undeserving and unlovable….

THEY ARE WRONG

Because if someone like my friend Amanda,

 can think for a second that she doesn’t deserve the world and more

Then the voice in her head and my head and your head….

it doesnt really know what its saying.

Amanda: keep surfing, keep writing, keep creating, keep loving, and keep living because this place woldnt be the same without you

Enjoy Oregon my beautifull friend and cherish every second with beautifull Sano-Man Jesus because you two are hands down the best this world has to offer

YOU MATTER