(With absolutely no revisions)!!!!!!!!!

I just want to fucking scream I want to write without constant fear of people hating it I want to laugh at all the bullshit in my mind and my life and I want to connect and break down the barriers that exist between me and the person next to me at this cafe and I want to send that text and I want to tell them how I feel while they are here and I want to make something of my time at work and I want to burn and not be ashamed I want to be free but not the way I used to I don’t want my issues to leave I just want to learn to love myself not in spite, but because of my imperfections and I want to be free and god I want so bad to be able to pour myself onto a page or a screen and have someone else say “i feel that to”.

I want to feel like the baseline in “don’t start now”

I want to fall in love and hit the ground hard and fall apart and rebuild and I want to

I want to

I want to participate in my life

I want to learn to listen to that voice in the back of my mind

I want to start living the life I have instead of wasting it crying for the life I don’t

I want my heart to beat loud like Sam’s

I just want to live my life with the joy and freedom of this little kid across from me who is absolutely annihilating a bowl of fresh fruit.