Just-paddle-out

GIVE IT

****Read this post while listening to “when she’s high” by Tully and Mei*****

You can’t run forever

My friend

It’s gotta come from inside you

——

You can’t be happy

You can’t feel joy

You can’t spend time

With them

Because you’ll fall again

And then they will leave you

———

But you know that

Your not going into this for a fairytale

You just crave them

And they make you happy

And make you laugh

——-

So if it falls apart

Then you have memories

And not regrets

You’ll have pain

and terror of being alone and feelings of unworthiness

——

But you’ll have those even if

You sit on the sidelines

And watch those moments fly away

You miss out on late nights eating and drinking and creating at night and the touch of love from others

–

So, you could sit still. Never try. Stop showing up, stop writing this shit, stop having the SCARY conversations

Or

Perhaps

You might let yourself

Enjoy the sunset

Even though it means the night is coming

Cus every day

The sun comes back

Until it doesn’t

And in that split second

Before you become nothing and everything

You will see your life

And you’ll have nothing left

To love

Or fear

Or run from

So remember my friend:

Making yourself miserable

Doesn’t take the worlds pain away

It just takes away your capacity

To be a friend and a brother and a partner and an encourager

So please, trust the little voice

And if your going to let it give directions

You might as well give it the whole fucking wheel and enjoy the ride