Fuck shame

For about 1000 reasons

–

For

Taking parts of me

That are beautifull

And making me loathe then

–

Fuck shame

For handing me a scalpel and a mirror

And saying

“If you cut this out

And maybe cut that off,

Then you’ll be enough”

And then shame sat there

And watched me rip apart all the things that were defective

And then

As I sit their on the frigid marble floor

Shame looks down on me in disgust and says

“That’s a good start

But you’ll never cut enough out

To make him come back for you

But hey

You might as well keep trying”

–

Then as I sit in the shower sobbing

Worried that I’ll never get out of this place

I realized something

Shame couldn’t actually touch me

I was the one with the scalpel in my hand

And I decided to put it down.

So,

Fuck you, shame.

If he is going to make me burn when it’s all done,

Than I have nothing but love

And I forgive him.

But I will never kneel down and ask him to forgive me

For doing whatever it took to survive.

In a mind

That was tearing me apart