What if, theoretically, these feelings weren’t bad? What if they were the start of something fantastic? The overwhelm and the rage and the feelings of powerlessness. What if this whole thing was a cage and this frustration was the cage breaking? Like the whole time this needed to happen. Like the old order or mental schema needed to be dismantled with hundreds of nights of air raids and bombings of emotional distress. What if the sirens had to scream to show something was very wrong? What if this anger and procrastination and shame and fear about the internship and getting my degree and being a counselor and losing friends and being annoyed with that person was just the way it all had to happen? It’s possible this is wishful thinking. Actually, im confident this is wishful thinking, but without the “just” part. What if wishful thinking was a map that helped me set goals to chase?